My son had a soccer tournament last weekend.  An ‘out-of-town tournament. 

We’re a relatively new U-17 boys soccer team.  With a roster of 17 boys, only 6 have played together for more than 2 seasons.

Our coach deemed this our growing season.  We have a TON of talent on our team.  But, it takes time for a newly formed team to find their ‘mojo’ … to jive together … to dance the same dance. 

They lost the gold medal game.

The final score was 1-0.  The loss was not due to a lack of skill or effort.  Our boys fought the fight.  They fought hard.  In the end, however, they just couldn’t shut the other team down and score that 1 goal that would have brought us to a tie.  Or 2 goals . . . that would have resulted in a win.

The common thread that brings this soccer team together, is the very thread that has the potential to tear them apart. 

As athletes, they vie for and covet their positions.  They play hard.  They are highly competitive.  

They play to win.  Each and every player on the team gives it their all when they get on the pitch. 

There was nothing to be critical of in that last match of the tournament.  The loss was not any one player’s fault.  They lost as a team. 

But, reflecting back upon that tournament weekend, our team didn’t lose.

You don’t have to win to win.

Typically, after a loss, the drive home is either dead silent or really loud!  The drive home after this tournament was neither.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  It was loud.  But it wasn’t an angry loud.  It was a joyful loud.

The boys (I had 3 of them in my car …. for 90 minutes) were laughing and talking about how much fun they had over the weekend. 

• They talked about doing a team train down the waterslide.

• They talked about relaxing and hanging out together in the hot-tub.

• They talked about how scary it was to watch another hotel patron have a seizure in the swimming pool and how they came to her rescue, removed her from the pool and called 9-1-1.

• They talked about their midnight walks over to McDonalds to grab food; walking through the drive-thru as the restaurant itself was closed.

• They talked about the fun of bunking together in a room – alone.  (It’s important to note that they had parents in the rooms on either side of them, across the hall, and in the room below).

• They talked about the parent party in the coach’s room.  They laughed and said that, perhaps, at the next tournament, they should take away the parents’ phones, instead of the parents taking away their phones!

• They talked and laughed about how much fun the parents had and they giggled like little school girls over the Dad doing the headstand on the bed.

• They howled over how awful the parents sounded when they were singing karaoke.

• They reminisced about that moment of pleasure when they learned that they were going to be playing in the gold medal match.  When they learned this news, the entire team promptly headed to the coach’s room (where the parents were having a bit too much fun).  They talked about the screams of excitement and everyone (parents and players alike) jumping up and down and cheering.

• They talked and bragged about how the parents rushed to their aid when another hotel guest was complaining about the noise.

• They talked about how much they can’t wait until summer when we have our annual cabin soccer weekend wind-up party.

They talked about everything.  Except losing the gold medal game. 

Really, what was there to say?

They had a fabulous weekend and made a ton of memories that won’t soon be forgotten.  They bonded as a team.  They found their mojo.  They got their jive in sync.  And, the boys – for the whole weekend – danced the same dance.

Memories, bonding, fun times aside … our boys were a force to be reckoned with in that gold medal game.  They gave it everything they had.  There was no criticism.  Only the understanding that ….

You don’t have to win to win.